Arya: Vivah karne ke liye kin kin baato ka dhayan rakhna chahiye?
Swami Ram Swarup: Vivah karne ke liye ladki aur ladke ke gunon kee parkh karnee chahiye. Ladke mein kya-2 gunn hain aur ladki mein kya-2 gunn hain. Isse prakar parents ke gunon ko bhi dhyan mein rakhna padta hai. Ladka itna earning karne wala ho ki weh apne parivaar ka theek-2 palan-poshan kar sakey. Apni patni kee dharamanusaar jayaz zarurton ko poorna kar sake. Is vishaye mein mera article is prakaar hai-
AIM OF MARRIAGE
1. Rigveda mantra 10/85/14 :–
States that the aim of marriage is to beget son/daughter, to make them well educated with divine qualities along with spiritualism so that they serve the society and make the nation strong. The marriage is not meant only for sensual pleasures.
2. Rigveda mantra 10/85/16 :-
The aim of marriage is not to enjoy sensual pleasure but in family life, preach of learned acharya should be listened continuously. And husband-wife must meditate to realize God as well.
DUTIES OF WIFE
1.Rigveda mantra 5/79/3:-
An ideal wife possesses the divine qualities like that of early morning time or dawn and brings about happiness to all.
To bring about peace in the family, she should be learned. Her conduct should be based on truth, she should not waste the money. Infact her house should always be full of food grains, wealth and other necessities. She should wield great power of tolerance.
2. Rigveda mantra 5/79/6:-
Ideal wife is the praiseworthy woman who glorifies and brings fame to the houses of both husband and father.
3. Rigveda mantra 5/80/2:-
Those women who wake their husbands before sunrise, clean the house and path that leads to their house, greet their husbands with folded hands, always preach knowledge, wisdom; they only glorify their families, society and nation.
To attain the said qualities public must pay special attention to daughters to educate them. Girls must be given high education and also arrangement must be made to give them Vedic knowledge from the beginning of their childhood.
4.Rigveda mantra 5/80/3:- As the dawn/early morning enlightens the earth so is the ideal, virtuous, faithful, learned, efficient wife who enlightens her married life.
5. Rigveda mantra 5/84/3- Ideal wife is as forgiving and tolerant as earth and she bestows happiness on everyone just like rain which brings about happiness to all.
Here, it shall not be out of place to mention that the said qualities can’t be obtained based on mere study of books. Mere bookish knowledge has been stated to create pride and thus covers us badly with illusion. It is the daily real worship of God based on Vedas like listening to Vedas, doing yajyen, name jaap etc., along with advice of learned acharya of Vedas that enables a woman to become learned and gain all pious qualities.
6. Rigveda mantra 6/64/1:-
Just as waves and high tides devastate the beaches similarly ideal wife annihilates the sorrows of her family and always strives for the welfare and benefit of the family. That is why, she is the best woman who makes the morning (dawn) pleasant. She gets up early in the morning and gives pleasure like that of dawn. Dawn gives pleasure to all. Vedas state a learned Rishi-Muni/learned tapasvini especially loves the dawn and daily wait for her advent. They get up at this pious time and begin meditation. Even a sick person enjoys the dawn. Vedas therefore state that an ideal learned wife gives pleasure based on her divine qualities and conduct to each of her family member and the society. Everybody showers praise on such learned woman.
7. Rigveda mantra 6/64/3:-
ideal wife is the one who is as pleasure giving as pious early morning time (dawn), sustains her family like the sun rays sustain the world and like a brave warrior she never bows down before sorrows or tiredness caused due to hard working. Such ladies are always respectworthy and those who give respect to them attain good fortune. Nowadays, it has become a tendency to give respect to every saint or a woman who has become sadhvi, sanyasini etc. Such people wear saffron robes and are thus worshipped all over. Vedas only allow to respect those saints or sadhvis who have attained the pious qualities mentioned in Vedas like knowledge of Vedas and act accordingly, they who perform daily yajyen, do name jaap, hard practice of Ashtang Yoga, have full control over five senses, perceptions and mind. They are benevolent and work for the benefit of society, they are not greedy and have become ascetic. They think truth, speak truth and follow truth and each of their action is based on Vedic truth.
8. Rigveda mantra 7/2/6:-
She is the ideal wife who is adorned with best knowledge and qualities, gives happiness to others like the day and night which bestow happiness to human beings. She also speaks sweetly and truth.
9. Rigveda mantra 10/85/7:–
Ideal wife is the one who is educated in the worldly knowledge as well as in spiritualism thus she is adorned with the ornament of said knowledge.
In the mantra, God has told about the real ornament of an ideal wife. Ideal wife is the one whose forehead is adorned with precious jewel of knowledge both worldly as well as spiritual. Thus she always inspires the family to be away from illusion.
The lamp-black meant for beautification of her eyes is that when she showers love through her eyes on everyone.
10. Rigveda mantra 10/85/12:-
The glorious wife should be completely dedicated to her husband, she should listen to his views and harbour pious qualities that shall make her married life successful.
This ved mantra states that human body is like a chariot. A chariot has two wheels. Similarly, the body has two wheels in the shape of two ears. Ved mantra preaches that an ideal wife should use her ears to listen Vedas – shastras. Simultaneously she should also listen to the views of her husband. She harbours pious qualities that shall make her married life successful.
11.Yajurveda mantra 8/42:-
It is the moral duty of wife to offer the same nutritious edibles to her husband as are consumed by her. She should offer all those pure matters and other necessities to her husband as are used by her. Mantra states that all offered articles and edibles should be well-examined as regards purity etc. Such devotion of an ideal wife will lead to elevation of intellect and mental, physical power of her husband and acquisition of wisdom by her husband. She should also work hard to keep the house neat and clean and increase the wealth.
12. Yajurveda mantra 12/92:-
An ideal wife should have good knowledge of medical science so that she can keep herself as well as her family away from diseases.
Such great quality is attained by the lady who already possesses several divine qualities. She knows about several medicines, their implications and use of herbs.
13.Atharvaveda mantra 1/14/1:- A virtuous/ ideal wife should establish herself permanently in her husband’s house as stated (MAHABUDHNAHA PARVATAHA IV) just as a mountain firmly establishes itself on ground. Such an ideal wife never wanders about baselessly.
Further, the wife has been stated to possess the quality of having (BHAGAM) excellent internal and external beauty and (VARCHAHA) glory.
Here, it should be noted that mere external beauty will do nothing unless the wife also possesses internal beauty which comprises of extraordinary pious qualities gained by listening to Vedas. For example- such internal beauty was possessed by Mata Sita, Madalsa etc.
Further, (VRIKSHAAT ADHI SRAJAM IV) the wife should be adorned with pious, divine qualities to maintain her husband’s house beautifully as we make a garland from the flowers of a tree to beautify / decorate holy places etc.
Otherwise, Atharvaveda mantra 2/14/5 states (SADA NONUYAMANAHA) that lady who frequently hurls abuses then (ITAHA NASHYATAHA) such female should vanish away from our house. That is, such ladies deserve to be turned out of the houses.
(YADI VA PURUSH ISHITAHA) if excited/animated by any other man or (KSHETRIYANNAM STHA) has acquired destructive behaviour posing serious threat to the unity of family; the ved mantra then advises to maintain distance permanently from such ladies.
14.Atharvaveda mantra 3/25/1- Wife should long to be in company of her husband.
15. Atharvaveda mantra 3/25/5- wife should be attracted towards the loving attitude of her husband and should always remain sincere to her husband.
16. Atharvaveda mantra 3/25/6 – wife should discover so much love and affection in her husband’s house that she should not remember her parent’s house at all.
17. Atharvaveda mantra 3/30/2 – wife should conduct herself sweetly towards her husband.
18. Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/1 – main qualities of wife:-
(a) be hardworking (b) possessing best behaviour (c) striving to maintain home in best way.
19. Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/2 –
(a) Preserves and increases husband’s earnings.
(b) Spends portion of husband’s earnings on yajyen and other pious deeds of household.
(c) She is always working hard.
20. Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/3-
(a) she does all household jobs with zeal and enthusiasm.
(b) works for the betterment of the house in a very mature way.
(c) ensures that there is no shortage of milk and milk products in the house.
(d) conserves the household earnings.
21. Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/4-
(a) she remains happy.
(b) does not get effected by sorrows and controls her anger.
(c) makes every one happy with her good behaviour.
22. Atharvaveda mantra 4/38/5-
(a) toils hard from sunrise to sunset.
(b) does her work in the light of sun and does not confine herself to dark rooms devoid of sunlight.
23. Atharvaveda mantra 6/8/1 – wife should be dependent on husband just as a creeper completely depends on the tree.
24. Atharvaveda mantra 6/8/3 -wife should never even think about separating from her husband. So, she should be virtuous and sincere one.
25. Atharvaveda mantra 7/47/2- wife should remain healthy, possess expertise in household jobs, should be God fearing and remember God’s name and should possess divine qualities.
26. The Rigveda mantra 4/16/10 also enumerates the good qualities of an ideal wife. It states –
(MANSA) clean hearted (DASYUGHNA) destroyer of evil/corrupt natured people (SARUPA) based on the pious qualities, she has inner as well as outer beauty
(RITCHIT) always follows truth and accumulates good qualities based on truth.
The mantra further states that if the lady (KUTSAHA) possesses bad intentions (NIKAMAHA) sensuality etc., (SAKHYE) for the friends of husband or other people then (ASTAM) she should be immediately separated by the husband from himself.
Idea projected by the mantra is that the evil minded above quoted ladies should be separated and another lady having good qualities must be accepted by the person for the long, happy life. The same law is also applicable in case of evil hearted husband.
DUTIES OF HUSBAND
1. RIGVEDA MANTRA 4/16/10:-
Learned wife should contain the quality to destroy the cruel nature, must be beautiful not only physically but her inner beauty must be based on divine qualities attained by doing Tapasya, she should try to gain true knowledge only. That is why, the mantra states that if learned husband does not have the wife containing the said qualities then the learned husband should divorce a bad/contemptible wife and marry another woman who possesses same qualities as his own and does not have flaws or vices.
2. Rigveda mantra 10/85/17 –
It is the duty of the husband to provide for food and other necessities of his wife, learned acharya of Vedas and children. These necessities like food etc., are required to attain Vedic knowledge. So earning is not meant only to satisfy hunger or enjoy sleep and materialistic articles of the world.
3. Atharvaveda mantra 1/34/5 – the sweet and loving behaviour of husband should enable the wife to inculcate love and affection towards him.
4. Atharvaveda mantra 2/30/4 – husband should not hide anything from the wife. In this way he shall win over her heart.
5. Atharvaveda mantra 5/25/6- he should lead a disciplined, pious life.
6. Atharvaveda mantra 6/9/2 – husband should try to win over his wife with his love.
7. Atharvaveda mantra 6/81/1 – husband should lead a disciplined life and should be capable of earning enough money to sustain his family.
8. Atharvaveda mantra 6/89/1 – husband should respect his wife and consider his duty to protect the honour of his wife.
COMMON DUTIES
1. Rigveda mantra 5/80/1:-
Like a learned husband who never wastes the time but is always occupied in performing his moral duties similarly the ideal wife keeping in view the value of time, must not waste the time baselessly.
Atharvaveda already states that time is like a running horse. A learned person thus jumps on the back of the horse for riding i.e., the learned person without wasting a second continues his hard working keeping pace with the speed of time. He never sits idle because he knows the horse of time is galloping fast i.e., time is running fast and shall never come back. An ideal wife should harbour the same qualities to nurse and keep her family members happy. How a lazy wife who sits along with others and makes spending fun, back bites or gossips, can shower pleasure on her family members?
2. RIGVEDA MANTRA 10/85/11:-
States that the chariot of married life has two bullocks in the shape of Rigveda and Samveda. Rigveda pertains to praise where as Samveda indicates peace. The wheels of the said chariot are the two ears. Like the two wheels which move continuously, the ears also continue the conversation between husband and wife, by listening to each other’s views. For such a happy family, there are two matters alive and non-alive which are to be stored well, i.e., non-alive property and alive Vedic/spiritual knowledge etc.
IDEA:-
The married life should not be wasted by indulging in illusion that may lead to abrupt stoppage of above chariot. Chariot of married life should move smoothly i.e., husband-wife should not be lazy and must work hard continuously. They must maintain their health well and remain away from diseases. For this purpose, both should wake up early in the morning i.e., at 4.00 a.m, must worship God, in the shape of Yajyen, Ashtang Yoga practice, name jaap etc., under the supreme guidance of the learned acharya of Vedas, the couple must go for a long, morning walk and must do exercise daily without fail. The said knowledge/pious actions are required to continue smooth movement of the chariot. This will sure bring praise for the married couple and help them to maintain permanent peace.
In the entire life, the couple must give patient hearing to each-other’s views faithfully. Then only should decide to solve family problems peacefully. The said patient hearing should be continued for whole of married life. One-sided decision is harmful.
In the married life, God has blessed to work hard to earn lot of wealth which is non-alive matter and second is the alive matter wherein the knowledge of alive Almighty God is considered for which couple must strive hard to achieve the aim of life i.e., realization of God. The mantra thus indicates the progress required to be made in both ways i.e., worldly (including science etc.) and spiritual.
3. RIGVEDA MANTRA 10/85/18:-
The relationship between husband and wife strengthens through their mutual love and affection, through mutual support they lead an ideal married life.
The couple while playing delightfully and happily like two children, attain and complete their holy yajyen of the family. Here, the meaning of yajyen is pious deeds or moral duties to be discharged daily.
4. Yajurveda mantra 11/69:-
To make the married life happy both husband and wife should be educated and learned. Besides possessing best etiquettes she should be as tolerant as earth. Virtuous/faithful wife knows well the art of cooking and makes delicious meals. Both husband and wife should be away from violence and feeling of animosity.
5. Yajurveda mantra 14/7:-
After getting the human body in this world the husband and wife must make contact with learned acharya and therefore one day they should themselves become learned. By observing hard Brahamcharya and attaining pious Vedic education/preach, the couple must perform pious deeds and discharge moral duties towards family, society and nation. They should also inspire others to do pious deeds. Their study of Vedas and education of school, college, university must be so hard that they acquire knowledge right from straw to Brahma. Thus, they should attain pleasure themselves and must give pleasure to others also.
6. Husband and wife should share everything in common. This sharing leads to their long life- Atharvaveda mantra 2/30/2
7. Atharvaveda mantra 6/11/1- wife should possess serene/calm nature and husband should be hard working, possessing strong body. This leads to generation of brave children.
8. Atharvaveda mantra 6/42/1- husband and wife should be completely devoid of anger and should work together to accomplish household tasks.
9. Atharvaveda mantra 6/89/2- there should be perfect compatibility between husband and wife.
10. Atharvaveda mantra 6/36/1- husband –wife should lovingly gaze at each other and their faces should reflect happiness.
11. Atharvaveda mantra 7/37/1- husband should never even think about females other than his wife and wife should dress up decently and sensibly covering all body parts.
12. Atharvaveda mantra 7/38/1 – wife should firmly hold that she shall never go away from her husband’s house and this firm conviction prevents the husband from being attracted towards other females.
